Asking Better Questions
I'm not good at small talk. Never have been. Also not good at small questions. Or small answers, for that matter.
You know the kind. The hoity toity answers to those questions about life and death and how to be happy in between if you just do this and this and follow these 10 simple steps. The kind of less-than-satisfying answers that close a door, stamp a foot down, and draw a solid line. As if to say, "That's the final word! Period. No more questions asked."
This is probably why I failed at organized religion.
But I digress.
The thing is, (in my big, fat, sometimes not so humble opinion) life itself is just one big open-ended question. So if we want to reach out for that wider, deeper, more fulfilling life, we better start asking bigger questions.
(Pssst.... McCall, this would be the perfect place to enter a real-life example) Well, alrighty then. Don't mind if I do. :)
So let's just face it. I'm a freaking gypsy. Sure I've lived in the same town for the past 12 years, but I'm a gypsy of the heart, a gypsy of the soul, a gypsy of the mystical. Meaning, it's hard to pin me down. Meaning, no one quite knows what I'm doing at any given time, and I don't quite know how to explain it. It looks like I'm wandering around doing nothing, when really I'm doing everything (that's what soul work is like most of the time). And meaning, I move on a lot. Move on from stories, situations, ideas, dreams etc. When my work is done, my work is done.
This results in me being asked a lot of the same questions over and over, such as "Are you still at such and such place?" or "What are you doing now days?" or "Why aren't you playing music out anymore?" And I can't blame peeps for asking, but I just refuse to use my energy answering those questions when I know they aren't the deepest ones yearning to be asked in the first place.
So the other day, I get a text from a friend whom I haven't conversed with in a bit. He immediately launches into the standard questions about where I am and what I'm doing nowadays. And it irritates me for reasons stated above, and because I know he's deeper than that anyway.
So I get brave and text him back:
"For reals? I have to answer THOSE questions? It's just that I'm so sick of THOSE questions. Got anything better for me?"
Being the soul that he is, he takes the bait and sends me:
"Fine. Fuck it. Here's my question: If you came face to face with the thing that has scarred you with the most hurt in life, what would you say to it?"
Now THAT'S a good question. One worth ruminating on (even when it hurts).
These are the kinds of questions I love. The ones that cut to the soul chase. The ones that deepen, enrich, and have the potential to grow our very lives into something bigger and even more worth living.
So...what would YOU say if you came face to face with something that's scarred you with the most hurt in life? What would that conversation be like?