Something in our souls made it impossible to stay
and impossible to leave.
So we fought the fights that were ours to fight,
cried the tears that were ours to cry,
and tore down walls that we could no longer climb.
All the while, bouncing back and forth between “should we get married?” or “should we live in sin?”
Do we plant roots and settle down or spread our wings and fly?
Break up or stay together?
Give up or keep going? (Because this is hard.)
We asked the questions we’re all supposed to ask.
We asked them. Sincerely. And then tore them all apart.
And somewhere in the middle of unraveling the meaning of all those words while gazing upon each other’s tear-streaked faces,
we found space.
Somewhere in between “I love you so much, don’t ever leave me” and “I hate you so much I never want to see your face again.”
Somewhere in between “I only have eyes for you” and “I’m so free and open that I jump into bed with anyone who happens to stir my honey.”
Somewhere in between loyalty or betrayal (?) free or shackled (?) together or apart (?)
Somewhere in between all that, you kissed me
and I forgot my own name
and the sky was the ground, like we were flying where we stood,
like worlds were overlapping and we were in more than one place at once,
and I realized that things aren’t always what they seem.
Yes became no and no became yes and there was room for BOTH and ALL and…
Somewhere in between, we found space
and our souls rose from that space with things to say, with a path uniquely ours to travel,
with karma to lift, curses to break, paradigms to shift, and trails to blaze.
Somewhere in between, we started dancing the truth and spinning the tale that was ours to tell,
a tale so ancient and deep,
stronger than hemp, more flexible than bamboo (this line’s for you, Ty),
bigger than life, bigger than death,
bigger than rightandwrongandloveandhate.
Somewhere in between, it all began.
So it was, so it is, and so it will be
somewhere in between.
Pinhole photo by Tyler van der Stappen
Dedicated to all the amazing souls who have been, are, and ever will be the other half of these paradigm-shifting relationships with me. My gratitude runs deep.
[Related work: Somewhere In Between and Between the Heartbeats]